Long days
Sleepless nights
This dry season is hard
Reading my Bible feels like a chore
Praying has slowly come to a stop
Walking into church, I feel like a traitor—
Everyone sharing about how good God is and how great God is
And about all the wonderful things He’s done in their lives this week
While I can’t seem to feel or hear Him very well lately

It seems like God is doing big things in other people’s lives
While in mine, it feels like He’s given up, or decided to not talk to me
I know it’s not true and I know people will say,
“He IS speaking—the question is—are YOU listening?”

Trust me, I’ve heard that spoken countless times, but
What if I’m really, truly trying?
What if I’m listening?
What if I’m being still?
Yet, it feels like God is standing still?
Like He no longer wants to speak or move in my life?
Trust me—I love Him, with all my heart I do
But in a season like this,
It’s hard to believe that He still loves me, too
When everything feels heavy and hard
When I’m on the ground
Pouring out my heart
Crying out for an answer, or anything
And all I get in return is—
S I L E N C E

I know God is still moving
I know He’s still speaking
But why isn’t He speaking to me?
Can’t He see I crave Him?
Can’t He see what a struggle this dry season is for me?
I’m trying to hold on,
Trying to hold onto Him
But my grip is slipping
My hands—getting weary

“Lord,” I cry out in desperation,
“I want a fresh fire for You!
I want to burn bright for You again!
Show me how!
How do I get rekindled?”

S I L E N C E
This happens day after day

A battle to read my Bible
A war in my mind to pray
Why is this dry season so hard?
Why does talking with God feel like I’m talking to no one?
But in the midst of my struggle
In the midst of the daily battle
A still, small voice whispers,
“Hope is never lost
This dry season won’t be forever
Hold on a little longer
Hold on a little tighter
This will make you stronger”

“But I don’t want to be stronger!”
I yell in frustration
“I just want to feel that fire for You again!
I want the flame relit!
I want it to go back to the way my faith used to be!”
I sigh in frustration

The voice comes to me again—
“Faith is a journey…
You will encounter mountains…
You will encounter valleys…
You will encounter beautiful fields, ripe for harvest
and dry, desolate deserts that don’t seem to end…

The question is—
Will you stay on the path?
Will you keep your faith?
Will you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus’ face?
Even when you don’t understand the desert or valley you are in?”

I breathe in deeply as the voice continues to speak:
“Will you keep walking?
Even when you don’t understand?
Even when the path leads you where you don’t want to go?”
I close my eyes, the words hitting deep

The voice speaks again—
“Faith isn’t only about the beautiful fields and the times the path is smooth and level
No, faith takes perseverance and endurance!
Faith needs to be tested and strained
It needs the deserts; it needs the mountains to grow!
To learn how to become stronger
To learn how to endure!
Your faith needs to go through these
D R Y
S E A S O N S
To go through the darkest of valleys
To grow and to become stronger!
All these difficulties are shaping you and making your faith stronger

So in this dry season—
in this desolate, hard, dry, dry desert—
Hold on to your faith; stay on the path
Keep your gaze on the Savior, even when it’s hard
And I promise—you will come out of this desert
This desert will end, as all hard seasons do.”

I open my eyes
A new, fresh hope comes over me
I open my mouth to speak,
But before I can, the voice whispers—

“Your fire isn’t gone; it’s just dim!
Keep reading your Bible, even when it’s hard!
Keep praying, even when it feels useless!
I promise you—
Your light will burn bright again,
If you keep on fighting
And remember—
You are never alone
Your Father is walking right beside you.”

I smile
A tear runs down my cheek
The voice is right
Yes, this season is hard
Yes, I’m tired and weary
But no, I will not stop fighting
Fighting for my faith
Fighting for my fire
This is only a season
A hard one, yes
But I know Who walks beside me

In every desert
In every beautiful field
In every moment and minute
I know I am not alone
For I know Who walks with me
Over the rocky, uneven mountains
On level ground
I KNOW who goes before me—
My Lord and Savior

Even when I can’t feel Him
Even when I can’t see Him
He is right there
Leading
Encouraging
Carrying
Loving
Guiding
Protecting
Strengthening
Helping
Healing
Restoring
ME!
My God is ALWAYS with me
Even when I’m walking through the desert

He is ALWAYS with and for me
He will NEVER leave or forsake me
My God is—
The God of the mountains and the valleys
The blooming fields and driest of deserts
My God is
Walking beside me right now
Holding my hand
Holding me
Guiding and leading me through the desert I’m in

I won’t give up, even when it gets hard,
For I know it is strengthening and shaping me
For I know Who walks beside me
My Lord
My Savior
My Friend
My Father
Jesus

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land where there is no water”
-Psalm 63:1