People say a lot about grief
They express it in many different ways
For me grief is different
It’s heartbreaking and it feels like part of my heart has been ripped out,
but it’s also hope and healing
Hoping that everything will be okay
Hoping that tomorrow
I will come to face the fact that they’re gone

It’s also numb
Like I don’t know what to feel or I don’t know how to feel
It’s also healing
Knowing that my heart will one day heal—even if it feels torn in two right now

Grief is weird
One moment I’m laughing and smiling
Next I’m crying and screaming
Then I’m silently just staring into space
Then I’m laughing again
Then I’m screaming again
It’s a never ending cycle

God has never felt so far away
Part of me knows it isn’t His fault
But everything in me wants to blame Him
Why? Because it feels right, because it feels good
During grief, I doubt His faithfulness and His goodness
I doubt who He is
I don’t want Him to comfort me
I don’t want Him near
“Go away!” I scream,
“You took them from me; I don’t want anything to do with you right now.”
Then I’m sobbing and apologizing and asking Him to help me
Then I repeat the entire cycle again

Grief is
when someone you love leaves this earth
You know you’re going to see them again if they’re Christian,
but it still hurts not being able to see their smile,
hear their laugh and feel their hugs.

Grief is
when someone you love leaves your life suddenly
and you don’t know what to do,
so you scream, cry and fall apart
Then you smile and laugh looking at their pictures;
then you start crying all over again

Grief is
knowing that God has a purpose in all this,
even when you can’t feel Him
or you are doubting He is good.

Grief is
supporting your friends and family as well in this time
It doesn’t have to be with words;
it can be with hugs and prayers

Grief is
like an ocean
One moment you’re drowning
One moment you’re not

Grief is
like a hill
One day you’re fighting your way to the top
The next you’re falling down the hill back to the bottom

Grief is
feeling emotions you didn’t know you could feel

Grief is
a package of things
If someone asked me, “What is grief?”
I would say it’s a package
of different emotions, feelings and questions

It’s a package
of different stages of grief
It’s a package
of falling apart and supporting your friends
It’s a package
that arrives suddenly
or that you already knew was going to arrive
Everyone unpacks that package differently

Some laugh and smile first
Some don’t believe it
Some start crying and screaming
Some just sit in silence not knowing what to feel

Grief is a package

But underneath all the layers of pain and hurt
Is healing
If you look way at the bottom
There is hope

If you keep unpacking, you will find strength
You will find your faith and you will find God—
waiting for you to reach the bottom of the package
When you have nothing else to unpack,
He is there waiting, calling

Fall into His arms
Feel His love
Know that He was there the entire time
Caring, crying with you, loving you

Grief is a package
God knows it might take awhile
for you to process the package
But He’s there,
waiting and loving you with open arms