As I struggle
As I battle
As I go back and forth
As I go through the motions
Days seem to be getting darker
Work seems to be getting harder
Life seems to be determined to drag me down
The devil whispers lies into my ears—
“You will fail”
“You are not strong enough”
“You will lose”
The voice drones on and on, whispering lie after lie
Slowly, the lies start to sound like truth
Slowly, I begin to believe the lies the enemy loves to whisper in my ear
Slowly, I start to lose my grip on my faith

But in the middle of this struggle to keep my faith alive,
I whisper a desperate, tear-filled cry,
“Lord!
Save me from these lies and these doubts!
Save me!”
I take a deep breath in, fix my tear-stained eyes on the sky and whisper,
“But even if You don’t, my hope is in You alone”

I breathe in deeply
Fresh hope fills my lungs
Fresh truth
His truth fills my heart
Suddenly bold, I shout to the enemy,
“I am done believing your lies!
I’m done believing you!
My God will never fail me,
EVEN IF
He doesn’t choose to help me in the way I expect
My hope, my trust, my family, my work, my everything
Belongs to Him and Him alone”

I take a shaky breath,
Feeling the enemy’s grip loosen on me
Feeling the enemy fading away
“My hope is in You alone,” I whisper,
Feeling chains falling off of me as I repeat that phrase over and over again—
“EVEN IF YOU DON’T, MY HOPE IS IN YOU ALONE!”
I shout with tears of joy streaming down my face

The shackles fall off
The chains break in half
The enemy disappears
The lies disintegrate
I stand, shoulders heaving
Feeling light as a feather
Feeling as if I won the battle of the century
Feeling victorious
Not because of me, but because of Him
Because I know now that my hope is in Him

Whether He saves me from the flames or not,
I know Who holds me in His holy, nail-scarred hands
Those HANDS that took those nails for me
That HEAD that wore a crown of painful thorns for me
Those FEET that carried a cross for me
Those ARMS that held and hold me
Those EYES that see and love me
That SIDE that was pierced and shed His sacred blood
All for me
And for you

Yes, days can be hard
Yes, life can feel heavy
Yes, the enemy can whisper doubts
But when he does,
When he whispers these sweet-sounding lies in our ears,
Remember your Heavenly Father
And sometimes you need to whisper these words—
“I know You’re able,
I know You can save me from the fire with Your mighty hand,
but even if You don’t, my hope is in You alone!”

HOPE—
In who,
In what,
Do you place your hope in?
I choose to place my hope in my everlasting Savior
It isn’t always easy
It isn’t always fun
But at the end of the day, Jesus’ arms are where I want to run to
His arms are where I want to be

When the enemy says I’m not strong enough,
I say with confidence, “I may not be, but with my God I can be”
Day by day
Diminishing the enemy’s lies
Minute by minute
Leaning more and more on my Savior
Even when days are heavy
Even when weeks or months are hard
I trust that my Lord and Savior is always with me
He doesn’t promise to save me the way I want
Or to deliver me from the enemy in seconds
But He promises to always be with us
He promises He will never leave us
My hope is in Jesus alone—
EVEN IF
He doesn’t come through the way I want Him to

I know He is able to save me
I know He can
BUT—
And this is a hard one to utter sometimes, but it is so powerful—
“But even if He doesn’t, my hope is in Him alone”
Those words
That phrase
Has so much power
So much truth

Will you trust Him?
EVEN IF—
He doesn’t save you the way you want?
Even when it feels like everything is out of your control?
Even when it feels like the enemy might win?
Will you continue to put your hope in Jesus?
Will you continue to trust Him?
Even when the waves crash
Even when the storm rages
Will you put your hope in Him?
That is for you to decide

For me,
MY HOPE IS IN HIM ALONE!
At the end of the day, I can look back and say,
“It is well with my soul”
Even when it all feels heavy and hard
At the end of the day, I will continue to place my life, my hope and my trust
In Jesus Christ, my Savior and Friend
So with confidence and faith, I am able to say,
“I know You, God, are able
I know You, Father, can save me from the fire with Your mighty hand….
BUT
EVEN I F
YOU DON’T,
MY HOPE IS IN YOU, LORD, ALONE!”


“Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.” Job 13:15

*This poem was inspired by the song “Even If” by Mercy Me